Some grow thorns while others grow flowers
The nature of rain is the same. Yet when it falls in the wild it grows thorns. And when in the garden it produces flowers.” Arab proverb.
This old saying is at the heart of why some people are struggling in their veterinary life and others are thriving. Same job. Totally different outlook. It is overwhelmingly unlikely that 'veterinary medicine' that is broken. Despite what the mass narrative would have you believe. It’s just easier to have a scapegoat than look to the real culprit. She’s there in the mirror. He’s staring back at you. This might be be a difficult thing for you to hear and it might stir in you strong emotions or a need to justify your thoughts or feelings. Bring them! But be warned, taken objectively, none of these arguments are going to stand up to critique. They are just excuses and they are getting between you and happiness. The problem is in your lack of skill. Your lack of humility. Your ego. Your lack of self awareness. Your perfectionism. Your choice of job. Who can say? I don’t know exactly what your problem is. But if you are suffering then that is a symptom. A clinical training course alone is not going to fix it. Blaming anything external is not going to fix it. Validating your feelings in your personal echo chamber is not going to fix it. (And you should know better than that anyway. The plural of anecdote is not data.) Ending your life is not going to fix it. Something needs to change deep inside. Perhaps quite a lot. But this is the work. Right there. No escaping this, not if you want to be truly happy.