Everyone Fears Being the Micromanager: Here’s How to Lead Without Becoming One

Oliver Loveday
26 minutes ago
4 min read

Woman with post it notes on her face, screaming, with a blue background.

Being a leader of people in a veterinary practice can feel like walking a tightrope. Your team grows. The work gets more complex. And you’re doing everything you can to be the kind of leader your team needs - thoughtful, fair, present - but not overbearing.

Still, there’s a quiet fear many leaders carry: the fear of micromanaging. Of becoming that boss - the one who hovers, questions everything, and doesn’t know when to step back. So you hold back. You try to give people space. But in doing so, clarity, support, and direction can get lost.

It’s understandable. But it’s also risky - especially if your team isn’t clear on what’s expected, or if you haven’t made space to hear what they expect of you.

That’s where structure helps. And that’s where feedback - clear, consistent, and mutual - starts to shift everything.

Since February, I’ve been speaking with practice leaders who’ve taken part in our employee feedback study, VEEBS. The study centres around an employee Net Promoter Score (NPS) survey - if you're new to NPS, we’ve written more about it here. It asks one core question: how likely are you to recommend your practice as a place to work? From there, it explores 15 follow-up questions and two open-text prompts.

The survey data opens the door. But it’s the conversations that follow - the ones I’ve had with owners, managers, and team leads - that reveal the real picture.

Here are three patterns that show up again and again:

1. There’s a middle ground between too soft and too forceful

A recent conversation stays with me. I was speaking with an owner-practice manager. The survey had surfaced concerns she hadn’t seen coming, and our conversation went places she didn’t expect.

She told me, “I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings and I see the potential of team members… I hate micromanaging. Like, ‘You walked in 30 seconds late’... and that’s not me. It's just not my personality. I'm trying to find balance.”

She cares deeply. She sees the good in her team and wants to lead with compassion. But she’s also lived the consequences of avoiding difficult conversations. “I let a toxic team member go too long… I feel like I let my team down.”

Her hesitation wasn’t from apathy. It was from wanting to be fair, from hoping things would improve, and from not wanting to be the kind of boss people dread. She knew her team needed structure - but didn’t want to lose her warmth in the process.

That’s the balance so many leaders are trying to strike. And it’s where things often go quiet. Without regular, honest feedback, silence starts to feel like avoidance. Accountability gets blurry. And trust begins to fray - not because leaders don’t care, but because they haven’t been taught how to lead with clarity and care at the same time.

This isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a skills gap - and it’s fixable.

2. An absence of clear leadership is a vacuum waiting to be filled - but by whom?

When leaders don't set the agenda, someone else in the team often will. Ideally, that person steps in with good intent and clear communication. But just as easily, that space can be filled by confusion, cliques, or even toxicity. The absence of clear leadership isn’t neutral - it invites uncertainty.

I recently spoke with a very proactive lead CVT who cared deeply about her practice. She had stepped up of her own accord into a de facto leadership role. She shared, “We don’t know exactly whose role is whose… there’s a lot of gray areas.” Her well-meaning DVM bosses had adopted a hands-off leadership style that left the support team uncertain of where they stood. They hadn’t created a leadership or feedback framework that she or the wider team could rely on. Without clear roles, expectations, or regular communication, they felt abandoned - unsure of direction, and unsure who to turn to.

She was effectively filling a management vacuum, and she knew it. The DVM owners, who were likely wanting to give their team space and independence, had inadvertently become disengaged from the day-to-day leadership tasks that keep teams aligned - things like performance management, accountability, and direct communication. Her concern? That unless they stepped up, the burden would fall entirely on her - without support, clarity, or training.

This isn’t about bad intent. It’s about the absence of a clear system - and of regular, open conversation.

3. Without structure, feedback falls apart

In our leadership model, we talk about the “Triple Loop” - three layers of feedback:

Macro: annual reviews
Midi: quarterly or mid-year check-ins
Micro: everyday conversations that keep people on track

Most practices do well on the macro and midi loops. But the micro loop - the regular, structured touchpoints that build clarity - is where things often falter.

Instead of intentional check-ins, feedback happens in the hallway, mid-shift, or when stress levels are high. It’s rushed. Unclear. Sometimes poorly timed. And it doesn’t land.

What’s missing isn’t effort - it’s rhythm. Leaders need a system to check in, hold the line, and create space for two-way feedback.

In my own work, I meet with Dave weekly for thirty minutes. It’s not a big, formal thing. But it’s regular. Honest. And it keeps us aligned. That’s the kind of cadence we help practice leaders build.

Because when feedback flows, people stay connected. Small issues get addressed early. And trust becomes part of the fabric of your team.

If this feels familiar, we should talk.

You don’t have to micromanage. You don’t have to choose between being respected and being liked. And you don’t have to do it all alone. Ready to get started?